Previous English skipper Lewis Moody has announced he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet face the full ramifications of the muscle-degenerating condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was involved in the 2003 championship side and lifted multiple English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after finding out he has the disease.
"There's something about confronting what lies ahead and not wanting to completely absorb that at the minute," he said.
"It's not that I fail to comprehend where it's heading. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a unwillingness to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, states rather he feels "calm" as he directs his attention to his present welfare, his family and planning ahead for when the disease worsens.
"Possibly that's shock or perhaps I handle situations uniquely, and after I have the facts, it's easier," he stated further.
First Indications
Moody learned he had MND after detecting some lack of strength in his shoulder area while exercising in the gym.
After physical therapy didn't help the issue, a number of scans indicated nerve cells in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You receive this diagnosis of MND and we're understandably extremely affected about it, but it's so strange because I sense that nothing's wrong," he added.
"I don't sense unwell. I don't sense sick
"The signs I have are quite slight. I have a small amount of muscle loss in the fingers and the upper arm.
"I remain able to accomplishing anything and everything. And hopefully that will persist for as long as is attainable."
Illness Advancement
MND can advance swiftly.
As per the non-profit MND Association, the illness claims a third of people within a 365 days and above half within two years of diagnosis, as swallowing and inhalation become more difficult.
Treatment can only slow worsening.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," commented an emotional Moody.
"It's the sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an sole offspring - and the implications that has for her."
Personal Effect
Conversing from the residence with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he mentioned informing his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was rather heartbreaking," Moody said.
"We were seated on the sofa in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog jumped over and began cleaning the moisture off our faces, which was somewhat funny."
Moody said the emphasis was remaining in the moment.
"We have no treatment and that is why you have to be so intensely focused on just welcoming and enjoying each moment now," he said.
"As Annie said, we've been really fortunate that the primary choice I made when I left playing was to allocate as much duration with the kids as attainable. We won't recover those times back."
Sportsman Connection
Professional sportspeople are unevenly influenced by MND, with research indicating the prevalence of the condition is up to 600% greater than in the general population.
It is believed that by restricting the oxygen available and causing harm to motor neurone cells, regular, vigorous training can initiate the condition in those already vulnerable.
Athletic Career
Moody, who gained 71 England caps and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in acknowledgment of his courageous, relentless approach to the game.
He played through a stress fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a training-ground confrontation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he left a training equipment and commenced participating in collisions.
After entering as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the end of the set piece in the critical moment of play, creating a foundation for scrum-half Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to score the victory-securing drop kick.
Support Community
Moody has already informed Johnson, who skippered England to that championship, and a few other former team-mates about his condition, but the others will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"There shall be a period when we'll need to depend on their assistance but, at the moment, just having that sort of care and recognition that people are present is the crucial thing," he stated.
"Rugby is such a great group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even should it finished now, I've appreciated all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"When you have the opportunity to call your passion your career, it's one of the most important blessings.
"To have done it for so long a time with the groups that I did it with was a joy. And I understand they will want to assist in any way they can and I anticipate having those discussions."
